A mistake.

Without thinking, I grabbed the nearest film which was 400 color and loaded it into the 1N, thinking it was a fresh roll. I went out and shot with it, super excited for how they were gonna turn out since they were color and I had more of an idea on how the photos would come out after learning from the first roll.

Boy, was I wrong.

Looking at the photos, I realized that I had shot over a used roll, film that I had used on the Holga awhile back. Most of the photos came out triple-exposed (is that the term?) and in different colors cause of the Holga.

My favorites are the "Fuck You" and of Shi-Shi Girl. There were a lot of ones I didn't like, that had too many shots in one photo to the point of blurry, but I was satisfied with these ones.

At first when I got the photos back, I was bummed and disapointed and realized that maybe I should start marking my film rolls...but now, it just makes me more excited to shoot film more.

Anyway, today was my first day with SVP-Studio (my friend Philip's videography business). We shot a small wedding in Outrigger Reef. There was a time during the ceremony where I almost teared up because the groom and bride were giving their vows and the bride started crying. Weddings always make me feel happy and just think about love and all that fuzzy stuff.

It was really interesting learning the ropes, especially since I just recently started getting into videography and I've only been a photographer's assistant so the aspects and perspectives were very different, yet similar at the same time. I still have a lot to learn (what else is new?) but I'm excited to learn more about filming and working with Philip of course :p

The past couple of days have been rough for me, as far as my motivation and I guess...self-confidence in my work goes. A loved one who always believed in me, told me that I am my worst critic and it's so true. I can be a huge pessimist when it comes anything I create, and if I feel like it's not good enough, I practically sabotage myself by not believing in myself (make sense?) There is always someone out there that's better at doing what you do, but instead of using it as motivation to do better than them, I've been just crying over spilled milk. I'm kind of glad that I had a video assignment today because I finally met Contrast's Fashion editor Cassy Song, (someone I truly admire!) who was shooting with John Hook (another talented photographer). We were praising each other for the work we've done and in the end she reminded me that everyone gets like that, you just have to keep doing what you're doing and your skills will develop more.

I guess I just need to practice having faith in myself.

This weekend has been pretty intense so far and since I'm done working this weekend (as far as photos/video goes), I need to concentrate on school. To be honest, school has been on the back burner and since the semester is quickly ending, I should be putting more time and effort into it. With so much happening and things to do, especially with 808SPEAKERBOX, it's hard to balance everything. The upcoming weeks and months will get crazier till the end of the year so I just need to keep my head on straight and the eye on the prize...well prizes in this case. Work smarter, not harder.